"To those Americans, 'Welcome Home.'"

I should back track and say that yesterday I went to the British Museum yesterday, which is gorgeous, but nothing compared to the Tower of London (But the amazing Medieval.collection is a prelude).

I have never seen a real castle before in my life. Going in I got so excited, in fact I haven't been this excited about English history since reenacting the Bayeux Tapestry in middle school for the Medieval 'Studies' elective which I believe I took twice. It's hard to get excited about history you can't see in America, because Britain kept it all. If you had been there, reader, I would have shook you. We entered a vault to see the coronation robes, the jewels, the gold everything. Monarchy swelled up within me and the grandeur of it all. And the huge lances used for jousting and armour made for small princes.

I talked with a beefeater who stood guard over Rudolf Hess. Which was awesome too.

Walking along inner wall from the Bloody tower, looking at the Thames in the failing light I started to smile. Happiness flushed my innards as if Gods heavy pleasure fist hooked a wrought-iron blow to my scrotum. The nausea effect was similar too.

Don't take me for an Anglophile just yet, but it was awesome. Later was a walking tour of the East End with . . Gary, a local. He showed us street art for two hours and talked about the ethnic history of the neighborhood. It too, was really something. Despite his flustered behavior and dirty looks from the criss-crossing Jack the Ripper tours, he was well researched and did it for fun (and charity).

And that was the whole day. I really could have slept on the green on the Tower. Crossbows seem to feel right in my hands. I have never had so much fun at a National Landmark/museum (feel free to dispute it). I'm being honest. I'm starting to have real fun. Hopefully this weekend I can ruin it by getting snowed in at the Lakes District.

On a more personal note; I have a hard time working on something nowadays because I'm fearful of, well, an immense amount of things. Traveling does impinge, but I can't use that excuse. It's times like this that I get nervous about the trip, that I really am running away. Because everything I want in life has no fixed path, which makes it easy to throw some things to the side or to suggest I can do it all later. It was so much easier when I had less options, gave me a challenge and a course. I do think possibilities is one of my biggest fears, which is why I like making snap decisions. It works, but I need a slow thinker to help me out or a nice winter retreat.

And yes, on the really pathetically un-masculine side of things I intend on sharing more of my feelings because I have been remiss in the past. I can flex nuts in other ways that don't involve shutting people out of my life. I think I'm only talking to you Dylan. Sorry to single you out.

Bob Hoskins.