Intuition and Arbitrary Choices (Erotic Dancing followed by Self-Help)

More than a few people have asked why I'm moving to New Orleans. There are a lot of arbitrary reasons. There is a logical progression to my intuition.

A few days ago I was talking with Hannah. She was a little overwhelmed by how arbitrary life seems to her. She can think of reasons why she moved to LA, but none of them are really sufficient answers to her. We both don't know how Bard got on our application lists, how it stayed on, and for me I don't really have a reason why I signed off to go there. She went because it was the best school, I went because I felt good standing there. I had to tell Hannah that she has a clearly defined character (what we can say informs our conscious self through intuition) that narrows down her options. After all, it isn't equally likely that she could have ended up in Skokie or Chattanooga (Chattanooga is hell).

I don't like the idea that everything we do is simply an amalgamation of experience that informs what we like. Conversely I dislike the idea that we're fated for a singular direction. I reconcile the two my trusting in my intuition. Intuition can be informed, and in some ways quantified, but ultimately you take it on faith that it is truth.

My intuition hasn't changed over my whole life. I everything I've wanted since I was a kid is still true today. I used to have so little faith that I could ever choose one interest to pursue and now I've found an awesome way to merge all the disparate elements. Maybe you don't think teaching science to high schoolers seems that thrilling or complicated, but trust me when I say I have more foresight and schemes than you think.

My intuition doesn't necessarily falter. I've over thought some great things to death. Intuition can only lead you to the right things, it's up to you to put the work into keeping them.
 
I care most about rare things (Place<Job<Relationships). I love a great deal of places. A number of those places have my job of choice. Even fewer have the people I want to live with. Yeah, I'll make friends, but we don't always have the benefit of discovery in that order. Last year I had the relationship and an inkling of the job and still an unfounded fear that there's only once place for it all.  

I'm sitting at home. Not too bad, not too great. I've got my Mom around and a fully stocked kitchen. I don't have a relationship. I don't have a career. As much as I'd love to leap directly to graduate school and a relationship, I can't. My choice is to go where I intuitively felt good. I'm moving to a place my father seems to think will transform me into a fat cancer patient (with poor health care to boot).

I trust that there is a truth to how I feel, and I bolster that with a large amount of arbitrary reasons. I doubt that I'll be climbing a ladder from now on. What I do know is that I will always prioritize the rarest things first. It's definite that I'll leave New Orleans behind for something more important. I won't miss a place as much as I miss a career. And I will always miss people most of all.

I'm fine with that.

I probably could have explained all that with a few selections from the internet. I have to keep reminding myself that this is essentially a mass e-mail lest I start to puke from proselytizing.